I have a friend that posted a blog "Random Rasberries". I loved it! I loved how she was able to get her frustrations out there. While I was waiting in my radiology room, irritated, I thought this would be a great idea, every now and then to do my own version...Monday Moans. Now, I don't plan to do this every Monday, just when it is bottled up. However, I will have a Wednesday Woo Hoos the same week of Monday Moans. A girl has to "SHOUT OUT' too! So in honor to you my dear friend, here is my parody.
This Monday Moan is for all those who drive on Wayne Avenue MMMOOOOOOOAAAAN. Why do you think that because there is a parked car on your side of the road that you have more rights on the wrong side of the road? Sure, the road is a little wider where you can do this but if I am in the right away, I should not have to have my tires hug the curb just because you are impatient and can't wait for me to pass. MMMOOOOOOOAAAAN for Iowa City not making the road large enough to house all those parked cars to have a safer passage for two other vehicles to avoid all the near misses I have had on that street from rude drivers. While on this subject another MMMOOOOOOOAAAAN to all of you drivers that are coming off the side streets on to Wayne Avenue. I believe the red and white octagon sign does say "Stop" (definition: to cease activity or operation) That would mean you are to apply your brakes and come to a halt for oncoming traffic, not to slow down or fly through the intersection. I shouldn't have to nearly slam on my brakes for you. A big MMMOOOOOOOAAAAN for teaching your child to drive on Wayne Avenue. I have pointed out some of the obvious for this side street, but I also have to include all the people who think they have the right to stroll, not walk but stroll down the middle of the street because they chose to. While I'm at it MMMOOOOOOOAAAAN to you too, especially when you turn your head and look at me as if I am inconveniencing your Sunday stroll.
While I'm on the subject of driving, this MMMOOOOOOOAAAAN is for you, red headed lady wearing the green scrubs driving your silver little rusting out Toyota. You thought that it was more important for you to get to work on time, that you nearly hit me while you ran that red light. My appointment was just or heck, it was even more important then you getting to work on time. Maybe you should have left your place just a little earlier and then you wouldn't have to mouth sorry as you nearly miss hitting me.
Here's a big MMMOOOOOOOAAAAN to my job. I put in so many extra hours for you. I do a lot of "extras" for you. Whenever I am gone more then 2 days, the dependent audit section has problems and needs me to fix it when I return. I am one of your better reps, I need little supervision and go way beyond my actual job title. You send my colleagues to me for assistance, you even come to me for assistance. You deny me to use my vacation time so I can have my medical testing and force me to apply for FMLA and IF I am rejected then the time I need to take to help me be healthy will be counted against me and I will have a verbal warning...that will lead to no pay increase and enable me not to apply for other jobs within our company.
Here's a MMMOOOOOOOAAAAN to clear liquid diets for more then 24 hours and multiple times within just a few days. Another MMMOOOOOOOAAAAN for drinking Gloytely. I know you are doing what you need to for the colonoscopy but the moan is for the effect you had on me. A big MMMOOOOOOOAAAAN to Charmins. You are not soft enough, I will just leave that as. While on the subject of drinkable assistance a small mmmoooooooaaaaan to barium. You left me feeling nauseated however your side effect, constipation is very much welcomed by me. The Mother of all MMMOOOOOOOAAAAN would go to you Magnesium Citrate. You are the nastiest thing I have ever had to drink. Yeah, a combination of this metallic taste and the saltiest thing I have ever had tasted. Not only do you deserve this MMMOOOOOOOAAAAN but a Booooo too.
Oh, one more MMMOOOOOOOAAAN for the radiology center toilet paper dispenser only letting you have one square at a time. Really? With all the laxative solutions we have to drink, one square at a time!
You are right Aimee...it does feel better.
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