It has been more then 12 weeks since I have had my last hair cut. My hair looked horrible, bangs not doing anything near what I wanted. The past few weeks grey hair seemed to pop from no where. I do not have the best self esteem, I am slowly working on it. In 8 weeks my son Joshua will graduate. I will see many of my ex's side of the family. Most are cool, but my ex and his wife, mainly his wife judge everything about me. The following week will be Kera's baby shower. My husband's ex judges me. Why do I care? I do not know, it is just part of my nature. I want people's approval. Now I know this is not possible all the time but I do not want to give a reason to be judged.
Last Summer I told myself I was not going to color my hair until it is too grey and I can not handle it. I thought to myself, I am not a grandma yet and do not want to look like one. Okay, this July I will be one but I still am not ready to look like one. It is growing in clumps so I made my mind up to color and maybe get some highlights. I am not going to color it myself this time. It is time to pamper myself a little and this will be one that I do for myself. I planned on getting this in 6 weeks, two weeks prior to the graduation.
As I stated I needed a cut, so with the stressful week I had, I thought I deserved this and it will help my self esteem some. I went to the salon and told the lady, I wanted a long shag, where I can flip the ends if I want to. I wanted it to be my shoulder length. This is what I wanted, minus the color. Only my bangs needed cut as well. This is a little longer then I asked for as well. I do not think the lady listened at all. I definitely do not have a shag. She cut it a lot shorter then my shoulders. I have cried and cried off and on all afternoon. I know it is only hair. I know it will grow back. My hair looks like my mom's hair style. I do not even like her hair style. I think she has an old woman hair style and she is not an old woman in my opinion and the grey streaks I have does not help one bit. I have no idea what it is going to look like in 8 weeks. The growing out stages are always crappy looking. I do not want short hair. Now I am stuck with it. I can not say it is a bad hair cut, because it is not, it is just NOT what I wanted. It is a Wrong Hair Cut. I can not even take a picture of myself with it right now. I did my VLOG this evening to post on the 5th. Stop by and check out the mess. I could not even concentrate on what I was going to say because of how upset I am over this. Trust me, typically I am not vain at all but for some reason this is just upsetting me to the max.