Monday, September 26, 2011

Monday Moan

I had no intentions of posting a Monday Moan.  I felt like I was coming off of a good weekend with everything I accomplished.  Yes, work is hectic and that is the way it will be for awhile now, I have accepted it.  My good friend had her baby yesterday, so she will be able to make her brother's wedding next Saturday.  Life was going okay for me...then BAM I was slammed in the face.  MOOOOOOOAAAAAN.   This Monday Moan will not even be light hearted, no funnies, I have none at this topic for my MOOOOOOOAAAAAN.  My MOOOOOOOAAAAANs are actually tears.

I posted a few Wednesday Woo Hoos back how I was excited I have a father once again.  I think this is why I have the MOOOOOOOAAAAAN and big tears.  I mean, I am 45 years old and I am finally having a father that I longed for.  He was there when I was little but not like he is now.  Two years ago he had a near death incident, this was life changing for him.  He stopped drinking and realized he was missing out so much from not being in his daughters' lives, missing out on grand children's lives.  I was very skeptical.  I have seen him tell us he will try only to be hurt and let down.  I was not rude to him but I did not become overwhelmed with a loving feeling until May when I saw how much he really wants to be in my life.  Not only mine but my boys and Todd's too.

November nearly two years ago, he was bleeding near death.  Liver was bad, he was diagnosed with Hepatitis A and Liver sclerosis.   It did not look good for him.  He had a spot on his liver and they thought it was cancerous but it came back benign. He found out he was diabetic.  MOOOOOOOAAAAAN.  He has done everything the doctors told him.  He went to AA meetings, he had everything documented so he could be put on a liver transplant list.  However, he was healed...the liver sclerosis healed.  His Hepatitis A was looking good.  No signs at all of any liver problems.  Diabetes under control.

Today I received a call.  MOOOOOOOAAAAAN  He has liver cancer and they think lung cancer too.  Friday he goes back to the doctor to confirm.  If it is liver only, he will then go for testing that will last 3 days and be put on the liver transplant list for an immediate candidate.

MOOOOOOOAAAAAN I hurt so bad right now.  I feel I have been cheated.  I have not had the time of having a father long enough.MOOOOOOOAAAAAN. The only positive thought to this is IF it is his time, at least it will end with a positive relationship.
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2 comments:

  1. I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this! I wish strength for you in this tough time!

    ReplyDelete
  2. oh no i am sooo sorry about all of this. i will add y'all to my prayers.

    ReplyDelete

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