Saturday, September 3, 2011

So You Call Yourself A Parent?

It kills me how some people can call them self a parent.  Really?  Just because you either carried the child or fertilized the egg does not necessarily make you a parent.  Yes, it goes both ways.  I know a few children whose mother left them or when their divorce came through they divorced the children as well.  See it goes both ways, fathers and mothers.  BUT WHY?  Most importantly HOW?  How can someone do this?

What gets me more are those individuals who are what I consider part time mother or part time father, or better yet, parent of convenient.  These are the individuals who feel their individual life is more important than being there for their child.  Oh wait!  I know we parents are individuals and do deserve our own time.  Trust me I do know this!  However, it would not hurt to be there for your child as well.  It would not hurt to follow through with commitments you have made.

It also kills me how these individuals "act" like they are the best parent in the world yet rarely see them or when they do, they definitely do not parent but instead they are a buddy to the child.  As a parent, our first responsibility is for the best of the child.  This means sometimes our actions will not please the child.  It is for their best interest.  We do want them to grow up and exceed in life.

You would think that any parent regardless if they are with the other parent would be happy if there are more adult individuals in their child's life who care for them and actually love them.  However this type of parent tends to be jealous of the other adult individual and feel that it is some sort of competition for their child's love.  Seriously?  The truth is, the child is smart enough and knows who truly cares and there really is not any competition at all. 

My last thoughts on this topic is GROW UP and STEP UP TO THE PLATE when you really are needed, not at your own convenient timing.  You are not only hurting the child but you are the one who will truly miss out in life.  I just can not understand how someone can be this way.  My children mean everything to me.  My stepchildren mean a lot as well.  I may not make them happy with every choice I make for them, but it is out of love and desire for them to become responsible adults that will excel in life, for them to have a good life, an honest life, and most of all a happy one.
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2 comments:

  1. It's mean to say this, but this reminds me of Michael, my brother. His youngest son just turned 18. He was just happy because now he has (I"m thinking) $800 more a month. There was no party or celebration for the kid. There are no plans to send him to college or to help him as an adult. He's just happy his obligation to him is over. His wife, is ECSTATIC, because, of course, she now wants to use this $800 to support her grown children who don't work (pot smoker who only works 12 hours a week).

    SIGH. I agree with you. It's so very *EASY for a parent to make promises and then send them home. After all, *that* parent isn't going to have to clean up the mess. Actually, this reminds me of my sister who would make promise after promise, and then not deliver. Her kids thought Tom was an a**hole because he "wouldn't allow it" not ever once thinking that Chris, as the non-custodial parent, had NO RIGHT to make such promises.

    I think some people do it for fun or just to get back at the other parent. Thing is, it really does hurt the children.

    I can't change what happened. But I am truly empathetic to your pain and frustration. I can only hope that the children of these parents don't repeat the cycle or think it's normal.

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  2. As a child of divorce, with a dad who was only there when it was convenient, this entry speaks volumes to me. I couldn't agree more. I now refer to my father as my sperm donor, because it takes a lot more than that to be a good dad.

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