Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Christmas is Coming AND I Do Not Care

I really do not care this year at all.  Do not take me wrong, I do care that we are celebrating the birth of Jesus but I have no holiday spirit at all.  I just can not find it this year.
Two weeks ago my husband and younger boys put our tree together and then everyone was suppose to decorate it.  It is still the same way as it was when they placed the branches into the peg spot on the pole.  It is not even fluffed any.  If it were not for the bare stick tree one would not even know Christmas is in 4 days at my house. 

I have very little baking done, only the pretzels and almond bark stuff this year.  I have the ingredients all purchased for the fudge, the peanut brittle, and the cookies but no ambition to make it. 

I planned on yesterday wrapping the gifts but was struck with the nastiest flu I have ever had in years, so nothing was done.  I am only praying that we all get it over with prior to Christmas so I can go home and spend it with both my Mom and Dad.  It has been years since we all have been there, but I do hope one sister does not show up.  She is way out of control right now and I do not want any drama like they had at Thanksgiving when she punched another sister and pushed her down the stairs.  I mean to be honest, there is a strong possibility this is going to be my last Christmas with my Dad, unless he is lucky enough for a new liver.

I am in a dark place right now with adult children not being responsible, my job, my father's illness, my sisters not getting along. 

I have worked through the issues with my husband, I worry a little or have a little trust issues right now, but I am praying this will pass. 

This Christmas should be an exciting one.  I was able to afford the gifts I wanted to get the boys.  I had planned all the baking I typically do and a few new goodies.  I bought some new decorations for the Kitchen.  I am going to be with my side of the family for Christmas this year too.  It is going to be our grandson's first Christmas. Only both Todd and I are in no spirit this year.  We did not even decorate for Halloween this year.  The two of us are a pair for sure this year.

Christmas has always been my favorite time to decorate the house.  I love the feeling and warmth I create.
I have to find some Christmas Spirit some how in the next 4 days.

With all this said...I do wish everyone that reads my blog a Merry Christmas.
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2 comments:

  1. I don't even have words to comfort you during this time of sorrow. It is incredibly difficult to parent so many children and to worry about your parents as well. I've personally found that my marriage and my job suffer more because of family stresses. For Christmas I wish you peace, comfort and hope. May joy come to you in the company of your parents, your husband, and your grandson.

    You are a wonderful, caring and loving person. You would sacrifice your own comfort and well-being to deliver this to others. You show love through your words and deeds. I know you're struggling right now, and I'm sorry for your struggle.

    However, anyone who doesn't recognize the love in you isn't looking. Have a very merry Christmas.

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