Monday, February 27, 2012

Not so Happy List

I am so skipping my HAPPY List...mainly because I am NOT HAPPY!

* As some who follow may know, my older two (Matthew and Joshua) are not going back to college due to finances.  The oldest made me believe he was only to find out later he ended up being dropped due to money as well.  Wednesday night when I left work I had to call him due to a text.  He informed me that he had to move out of the dorm, that night!
*With trying to get everyone ready for the short notice move, Joshua, who Matthew will share a bedroom with fought me every bit of the way to clean his room and make room for Matthew...it never happened until Sunday, he still has no dresser space or even a small part of the closet.
*While cooking dinner for everyone, Taj became hungry.  His mother would not quit looking at the lap top to feed him.  She would make comment, half joking, to my youngest to feed him because he is hungry.  He crawled to each one of them crying and ended up turning and coming to me in the kitchen.  Naturally, I am not going to let him cry because he is hungry, so there I was back in time when I was the mother of an infant preparing dinner and feeding a baby.  {such bull...when I am the grandmother}
*Same night my younger two fought me as usual when it came time for them to do their weekly chore...recycles.  The youngest also had to unload and load the dishwasher as well.  Ethan, the 15 year old fought me regarding his homework.  Another common battle every night.  I battle homework, dishes, and going to bed on time nightly.  It is getting old when they are 15 and 12 years old.  I will punish only to have wicked attitudes and tongue.  The 15 year old learned well from Joshua. Todd had enough and came out and started waiving his finger in front of Ethan's face yelling at him, telling him he is tired of the disrespect, the tone, the attitude every night.  He told him to do what he is told and stop giving attitude.  Ethan did as he said.
*Noah, however butted in {another bad habit they have learned from Joshua.  They feel anytime I am dealing with one, they have a right to add their two cents in, typically making the situation worse.}  Noah told Todd that he had not right to say anything to Ethan.  This made Todd mad and he did the same thing to Noah, pointing his finger in his face yelling at him.  Only Noah asked him to please move his finger. This making Todd even angrier.  He told him he will when he is done, that he is 12 and needs to mind his own business and how horrible they are at jumping in when they do not belong.
*This action from Todd then made Emily jump in telling him he had not right talking to his step sons like that, he had no right to discipline them because they are not his children.  Naturally Todd then started to yell at Emily stating she needs to mind her own business as well.  She does not see the attitude every night, she does not see how they fight me every night regarding homework, dishes, or going to bed.  They continue.  I pipe in, stating he has every right to step in with the boys, because he is helping me raise the younger two.  He is their step-father and more of a father then their biological father.  She then tells me she will never talk to her children this way. {She has talked back to her father as well when she was their age.}  I tell her to come talk to us when she has teenagers with attitudes and then we can discuss how she handles them.
*I finally receive a call at 10:45 pm to come get Matthew to move his belongings.  Joshua was suppose to help but went out with friends {nothing new...this is why he did not do well in college}  Matthew still was not packed completely.  12:30 am I finally arrive with Matthew and the last of his stuff.  Todd had one car full his self and left sooner then we did, so I can help clean up.
All of the above happened on Wednesday.
*Kera has been battling David (Taj's dad) regarding domestic abuse and custody for Taj.  She had approached me once asking if I would be the go between for them, because there is no one else they can ask.  She was trying to get supervised visitation.  The night the police were called and David was arrested I was informed that DHS was notified and now they are going to be involved as well.
*Kera received her court papers sometime over the weekend and only told me yesterday at 8:30 that he does have supervised visits and that I AM the appointed person to supervise.  Not only am I this person but I am to supervise him every Sunday from 9 am to 3 pm and every other Saturday from 9 am to 3 pm.  What?  I had no idea this is what they were going for.  How can a judge order me to be away from my own family?  Away from my own children.  My only days off.  I will not be able to go on vacation with my family.  I will not be able to go to Des Moines to see my family. My Dad has terminal cancer.  I will miss Father's Day, maybe his last.  NO WAY.  Kera states she told me this.  She did not.
*I contacted the court and told them that I was not made aware of this is exactly what I was being asked and there will be no way I can do this.  This is suppose to start this Saturday and I have plans with my youngest that I have no intentions of breaking. He has had issues from his father doing this to him all the time, I do not plan to start just for my grandson.  I was told to put this in writing as soon as possible and that a new court date would have to be granted.  I was told if I did so I will not be held in contempt of court.
*Kera's lawyer told her that I have to do this for a short time, until they have something in place.  I told her NO I will not!  This is not what I agreed upon nor had any indications I would have to give so much up.  I also told her what the court told me.  I think she still thinks I am going to do this.  I am not.
*I have gained the weight back that I lost... 10 lbs.  My knee is aching in the worse way.
*My father still has no appointment made for his chemo.

As you see... I have too many things that are not going right at this time.  In just a few days, that I can not find anything to list being HAPPY for.

Oh wait....my new mattress.  I am HAPPY for that.  I do not plan to link my list up, because...well I am just putting this out her to get it off my chest.  I am about to scream madly like a crazy woman.  I need a new cloud hanging over me.  I think I need a new jet stream pattern over me.  One that has more sunny weather and happy things going on in my life.

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5 comments:

  1. oh honey. mixed families can be rough for everyone. i am so sorry that things are not happy right now, that super sucks.

    you must be exhausted. i am emotionally drained just reading it. sorry my friend. so sorry.

    BIG hugs and good happy vibes to you!!

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  2. oh and a new mattress...at least you ended on a happy note :)

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  3. How can a court do that to you without your presence or consent? That is BS!

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  4. Everything Mamarazzi and Susie said. You have TOO much going on. The emotional weight of even one of these things is incredibly taxing. That you have so many seems overwhelming and daunting. I'm both proud of you and in awe that you're still doing what you can to make it work.

    I hope your dad gets his treatment soon, and that the supervision thing also gets sorted out ASAP.

    You are a wonderful person, a loving mom, a caring and supportive friend, an amazing artist, and a spectacular spouse. You deserve happiness and peace. Hopefully the rest of this week will grant that to you.

    ((HUGS)) I love you greatly.

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  5. Sorry, I have been unplugged since the move off and on...totally and completely sucks my darlin' you have every right to be a little pissed...glad things are sorting themselves out now. You know when I am unplugged you can still shoot me a quick note...always here for you Jolene!
    A

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