I have always been so much into every holiday; baking and decorating. I just am not in the mood this year at all. Halloween came and we did decorate the yard only because the kids pushed us to. The boys' did not need or want elaborate costumes (talking about make up), their costumes were rather simple this year. I did manage to get into the spirit when the kids were actually going door to door. Typically I make Halloween goodies but did not this year, usually it is ghost cookies, witch's brooms, eyeballs, witches hat cookies, and edible spiders. In July I had found some new goodies that I wanted to try as well. I think all the extra stress or drama in my life right now is just zapping all the spirit out of me. I am very concerned with the job, how the HealthCare Reform Act has hurt my department incredibly. We do not have the business as in the past that requires over time. This time of year typically I am working a lot of over time and it is this money that I usually use for Christmas funds. This year I had no idea that this will not be available until the season was upon us.
I can not believe Thanksgiving is nearly here, basically only 3 weeks. I am usually excited about Thanksgiving because of getting together with family, however this year there is so much drama that it will be entirely different mood. I also usually get excited for the day after...Black Friday and I do a lot of shopping trying to get as much as I can for my buck. This year it will be entirely different due to money saved. I do know that I have to get some fabric that will be on sale that day. It is the best/lowest price of the year and I need to pick up up baby print fleece to make a knotted fleece blanket for the baby. I also need to pick up some baby print flannel for receiving blankets as well as burp rags. I have told Todd this will be the best time to purchase this, I do not have plans to make these items right away since we will have plenty of time, and this will be part of our gift when the baby shower comes around. I really want to get Ethan's and Noah's camera that day as well because they should be at a great price. This will be their first camera and because of their age, I do not plan to go all out on it. A camera that is simple and workable for a first camera is fine to me.
Then we come to Christmas season. Initially I wanted to have both Christmas treEs up, now I just do not know if I am in the mood to go all out with the decorations. I know if I did this it will help create the mood in the house and that will help for Todd and I. I am not even sure if I will do my typical baking, chocolate and peanut butter fudge, 2 different types of sugar cookies, gingerbread cookies, candy cane cookies, peanut butter kiss cookies, and peanut brittle. I am not sure because I have such low energy any more as well as worried about the cost of it. Now do not take me wrong, we are not stricken, I just want to avoid any problems if I do lose my job after the first of the year. I do not want to be hit hard because we went all out at Christmas. However, the goodies I also package some up to give as gifts as well as being a tradition for us. I guess I should keep up the tradition as well as gifts.
I just have to get out of this funk and get into the holiday spirit. I have to for the boys. Maybe I need to find my Zin this weekend and let things go. Enjoy the simple things more and worry less. I know there is no point to worry because you can't change what you have no control over...now I just need to have the part of the brain that controls the worry part to act on this.
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