My children from time to time ask me to share funny/cute things they have said or done when they were younger. Here it goes boys at least what my memory will allow to me to remember at this time.
Age 2 – 2 ½ years
How he pronounced his name: “Matchew Titer”
While we were shopping at Wal-Mart: “Mom! Look at the big phuck!” as he pointed to a large Tonka dump. My reply quickly was. “Yes, honey, LOOK AT THE BIG TRRUCK!”
Age 3 years
While playing with his hot wheel cars, Matthew would take a blanket and lift the center of the blanket and let it fall to the ground. This created folds in the blanket. He would then drive his little cars around on the different levels. When anyone asked what he was doing this would be his response: “Me playing mountain and bounds.”
Age 4 years
I never had a problem changing my clothes in front of my children until…one night while I was getting dressed for bed and Matthew was in my bed to sleep with me. He had his hands behind his head and a huge smile. While he made his statement, his little eye brows were going up and down. “Mommy, I yike your booobies.”
Age 5 years
When playing ‘Power Rangers’, Matthew always had to be Kim, the pink power ranger, because he had such a huge crush on her and did not want anyone else to have her, with exception of his cousin Julie. Matthew was fine that she was the pink power ranger and he would be Tommy, the green power ranger, Kim’s boyfriend then. Cousin Julie is one year older then he is and her brother Fred is 4 years older. Julie, Matthew and Joshua would play ‘Power Rangers’ often, occasionally Fred would join in. While playing Julie would call out her pink power ranger’s name to transform to the power ranger. My niece would call out “Tear and Asshole”. Matthew would just look at her and laugh (remember he is a year younger then her) “Julie, if you are going to be Kim you have to say it right. It’s Teradactyl.” “Mom, Julie is cussing!”
At the funeral home when his Grandpa Titler passed away; “Mommy, you were wrong. You said Grandpa went to Heaven, he’s right there.” Pointing to the casket were he lay.
Nearly 6 ½ years
While standing in a long check out line at Wal-Mart and I’m nearly 8 months pregnant with Ethan. Matthew is looking at my belly, he then lifts my shirt out and kneels looking up my shirt. He quickly stands up and asks “Mommy, I want to know, how is the baby going to get out of your stomach?” Everyone waiting in line snickered. I looked down and him and told him I would tell him later. “No Mommy, I really want to know!” “I know sweetheart, I will tell you later.” Now he stomps his little foot and crosses his arm and frowns at me. “I know what that means! You are NOT going to tell me!” More snickering from the people waiting in line. I smiled at them and then looked down at my inquisitive son. “No, that means I am not going to discuss this while we are waiting in line at Wal-Mart. When we get home, I will call your doctor to see if they have a book that will explain it to you. If not then I will be more then happy to tell you.” With that answer he was happy.
I had remembered my Mother having a book for my sister and I when she became pregnant with my sister Amy. No luck finding the book, I then sat down with Matthew. My boys never gave me privacy in the bathroom. If I shut the door and looked it, they would stand and beat on the door crying for me, so I would just shut the door and then they would walk in. They knew once a month I bled. So here is how it went:
“You know how I bleed every month?” “Yep” “Well the baby comes out of that hole.” He then made a circle with his hand around the top of his head and goes, “You mean your hole is that big?” with huge eyes of how can that be? “Umm, No. When the time comes the hole will get this big.” I then show him what 10 cm looked like. He then made the same size of circle and tried to put his head threw it. He then looked at me terrified, “Will that hurt?” “Ah-ha.” I answered back. He then screamed and grabbed his front area and ran across the living room to his bedroom yelling… “I’m so glad I am not a girl.” A few minutes later he came back out and asked me, “Do you mean Hilary will have to go through that when she has our babies?” I just nodded my head and then told him that he is not to tell his friends, that their Mommies and Daddies should tell them, not a friend. He nodded that he understood.
Age 2 – 2 ½ years
How he pronounced his name: “Dashoewah Edwad Tidter”
One Saturday afternoon we (Matthew, Joshua, and I) were playing with Play Dough. Joshua had a tiny ball of yellow Play dough in his hand. I noticed his hand starting to move towards his face. As I cried out, his motions continued… “Don’t you dare put that up your nose Edward.” Too late, as soon as the words came out, in it went.
Age 3 years
One night after tucking him into bed: “Mommy, say magic woods to get rid of da monsters adain.”
Four weeks before giving birth to Ethan, I was sitting in the living room on the couch; the boys’ father was on the phone to his sister. I had to take a double take towards Joshua. He just placed something in his mouth and was choking. I cried out to Mike and Mike hung up on his sister and flipped Joshua upside down shaking him. A penny flew out. Joshua cried and cried stating his throat hurt. I asked how many pennies did he put in his mouth and he held up three fingers. I called the doctor and told her that Joshua swallowed 2 pennies; I wanted to know if this was something we needed to take him to the ER for or if it could wait until her office hours the next day. Off to the ER we went. One of the local television stations happened to be running a Pediatric ER special and I had to sign a waiver in order for Joshua to be recorded on the news. I learned that night they did not use X-Rays for everything any more. The doctor took a metal detector and waived it down his stomach and intestine area to see if the pennies passed through the esophagus. The doctor gave Joshua a ‘high five’ and told us to check his stools and in a week we should go to the airport and have the metal detector scanned over him if we did not see the 2 pennies. The reporter asked Joshua if he got his 2 cents worth. Joshua’s reply was, “No, I glad it wasn’t a quawter though, that would have hurt more.” After arriving to my Mother’s house to pick up Matthew, my Father asked Joshua how he was doing. Joshua threw up his arms to the side and said. “I got two pennies in my tummy and I’m gonna be a stawh!”
One day I walked into the bathroom and there was Joshua placing one of my sanitary pads on his leg. He looked up and said: "We don't have any more band aids. I'm using one of yours."
Age 5 ½ years
Less then 24 hours after my Grandma O’Connor died, I went to pick up the boys from school. The school nurse pulled me aside and told me that today during recess she was watching the kids out her window and Joshua was playing outside and decided to charge at the old Oak tree on the playground. She said the Oak tree won and Joshua was knocked off his feet. She checked him for a concussion but did not see any signs and she kept her eye on him all day. She did not want to call me since she knew my Grandma had passed. After talking to Joshua his comment was, “The tree told me he would move. He lied!”
Age 6 years
Fourth of July, Joshua came around the corner from my Mom’s house holding onto his arm and shaking: “Uh, uh, uh, uh. Mom, my arm fell into a hole!” as he was fighting back the tears. I looked closely and noticed that the bones were overlapping one another at the top of the arm.
Ethan is my quiet child and he actually did not start talking for his self until he was a little more then 3 when Joshua began school. Joshua would constantly talk for Ethan. I have less funny saying for Ethan due to this.
Age 3 - 3 ½ years
How he pronounced his name: “Efan Doesph Tider”
After finding out that the baby was going to be a boy: “No. I your baby boy!”
Age 4 years
After his first full week of going to Pre-School: “Mommy, I don’t want to go to school anymore. I want to stay married to you.”
Age 6 years
While living with my Mother, my sister and her son lived there as well. My nephew is 29 days younger then Ethan and would talk about joining a gang all the time. Ethan came up to me one day and said: “Mom, I want to join a gang too some day. Can I join the Cub Scout gang like Matthew and Joshua did?”
Matthew asked me if I was going to change my last name back to my maiden name after my divorce was finalized. I asked each of the boys, with exception of Noah, how they felt about it. Ethan’s reply was: “If you change your last name will you still be my Mommy?”
Age 7 years
In the car Noah was telling me how he doesn’t know when my birthday is, Ethan pipes up proudly: “Mom, I know when your birthday is! It’s two days after Christmas. Only problem is, I don’t know when Christmas is?
Age 2 – 2 ½ years
How he pronounced his name: “Nonah Tityer”
Noah loved to strip his clothing and take off. After I dragged his naked butt back into the house from our front yard, he cried, “No! No! Cloves are bad Mommy!”
Age 3 – 4 ½ years
How he pronounced living room: “Ligging Womb”
How he pronounced ravioli: “Wabaloli”
After living with Todd and the girls a few months: “Mom, I’m yucky. I have sistas now and what kind of Dad is Todd?”
Age 6 years
“I’m tired of being the youngest in the family. Will you have another baby?”
Age 8 years
One afternoon while we were having lunch: “You know what Mom? Yesterday I was in the bathroom and washing my face. I couldn’t help staring at myself. You want to know what I just realized?...Man am I cute!”
Age 10 years
After developing his first crush, Noah flipped a coin to decide if he was going to tell her that he had a crush on her. The coin came up heads and off he went to tell Maddy he had a crush on her. He came back rather sad. “I hate Sierra. She told Maddy. I told her I had a crush on her and she said yeah I know, Sierra told me. I then asked her if she ever had a crush on someone and she listed 3 boys’ name. Mine wasn’t one of them. I hate Sierra!” Several hours later Noah came running through the field with a huge grin, waving a piece of paper in the air, yelling, “Mom! Mom! Mom! Look! Maddy gave this letter to me.” The letter read:
I was too scared to tell you that I have a crush on you too after you told me.
P.S. I love the games we play.
He smiled and smiled and told me he was going to hide it in his room from his brothers because he did not want to be teased. Todd came home while he was inside hiding his letter. I told him what happened as I was finishing Noah came out the front door with the same huge smile saying “This is the best day of my entire life!”
After I made Kool-Aid: “Mom, Maddy makes the best Kool-Aid ever! I should get her recipe for you, so yours will taste good too.”
During the Summer, Noah swam every day at Maddy’s house. After playing laser tag at the Pizza Palace in Davenport: “While I was playing laser tag Mom, I saw my reflection in the mirror. I thought to myself, Wow do I look good in a muscle shirt.”