Wednesday, August 17, 2011

We Want to Know

This is the first time I am participating with We Want to know hosted by Mamarazzi and QueSo

This week's questions are from Mamarazzi
Today she wants to know about your here we go:

{1} Did you live in the same town or move around a lot as a child?
Yes to both.  I lived in Des Moines, which is the largest city in Iowa.  My parents moved a lot prior to 3rd grade and I went to 4 elementary schools, 1 junior high, and 1 high school.
{2} What were your parents like?
Hmm... tough one.  How honest do you want me to be?  I will give the very short version.   I love my parents, however they were definitely role models of what NOT to be as a couple.  There were moments of happy memories of them but more tolerated moments OR maybe the bad memories just stand out more.  My Mom put her children first most of the time and worked very hard to make ends meet.  She raised 4 girls since I was 15 (I'm the oldest) on her own.  She wasn't perfect but I held her high on a pedestal.  Deserving?  I don't know She definitely taught me many things in my life good and bad.  She went to every function I was involved in and was very supportive.  My Dad was loving at times but he was an alcoholic and later became involved in drugs towards the end of my parents marriage.  When he was drunk he was a mean drunk.  He was abusive to my Mom, to my sister Lisa and myself.  He never abused my younger two sisters.  After 7th grade I can say he was never there for me until the past year.  He would tell me how I was fat beginning in 6th grade, I stopped wearing shorts then because of it.  He would also say how beautiful Lisa was and all I had was my brains going for me.  He is now sober and trying to be a father/grandfather.  I'm still close to my Mom, she is not on a pedestal any more but close to it.
{3} Do you have any siblings? What were they like growing up?
Yes, I have 3 sisters.  I'm the oldest, then I have a sister Lisa who is 1 year to the day younger then I am.  Yes, we share the same birthday.  Then there is a 10 year span between the two middle children.  My parents had an Ooops...Amy and my Mom did not an only child as she feared Amy would be so 3 years later came my sister Katie.  Lisa was very good at softball and had a mean streak in her, but very protective of me.  Lisa was a tom boy and she and I were very close up until she started using alcohol and drugs.  She was in 6th grade.  It was her way to escape from the abuse of our father.  My Mom tried hard to help Lisa beginning 8th grade but she refused it.  I think if intervention would have started right from the start, Lisa may be a different person today.  I miss being close to her. Prior to college I was very close to my younger sisters.  I doted on them and was very close with the youngest.  Amy was in 3rd grade when I went off to college.  I remember Amy as always smiling and wanting a male approval after my father left.  She was my father's favorite and it probably hurt her the most when my parent's divorced.  She fell in love with the first boy who showed her interest and unfortunately he was not a good one. She too lived the lifestyle like my father and used drugs when she was in high school.  Katie was in Kindergarten when I went to college.  I remember her calling me and telling on my Mom for not letting her do this or that.  As I said Katie and I used to be very close, I think she thought I was one of her parents, she was 2 when our parents divorced.  Katie was very spoiled by all of us and her friends too.  She is more like me where we never got into drugs or alcohol, more like our Mom.  
Prior to the addictions, my sisters and I were in separable.  WE were there for one another.  Played with one another.  We were everything to one another.
{4} Share a short story from your childhood.
I'm going to share 3...I feel I need to say some positive things about my parents as well.  I just want to.
One of my favorite memories of my parents as a couple:  This happened maybe a couple of times but I feel warm when I think about it. Saturday late morning/early afternoon, an 8 track was playing (yes, I am dating myself there.) and while my Mom was cleaning my Dad went up to her and started dancing with her.  I remember standing in the door way looking at them thinking how they must love one another and how happy I felt seeing them look like they were enjoying one another.  I was maybe in 2nd grade then.  My Dad would then grab Lisa and I and dance with all 3 of his girls he would say.

Mom had a rule: 1 concert only while we were under 18 years.  My first was when I was a junior in high school.  My friend that was suppose to go with me backed out only a week prior so my Mom stepped in and went with me to see Men At Work (again dating myself.).  I remember standing on the chairs to dance and listen to the music and my mom was right there next to me.  My mom was a young mom, she was only 16 years older and she looked young too.  I remember looking over and she was talking to some boys...yes, boys not men.  As we were leaving I asked her what did they want?  She told me how they said: "Hey do you and your friend want to get high?"  Her response was, "No thank you, I do not think that would be a good role model for my daughter."  They then looked at her and told her sorry.  

Prom, my date and I drove to my grandmother's house so my father could see me.  He actually had tears in his eyes and told me how beautiful I was.  I get a little emotional every time I think of that moment.  He also told me how proud he was of me.
{5} What did you look like? (share a childhood pic for a chance to win a prize)
I'm going to share 3...   I have uploaded 2 of them in previous blogs, so I will create links to them.

To see a young Jolene, click here.   Here is one with my sisters, I am 14 years old, click here. 
Finally here is a new one... Homecoming my Sophomore Year.  I looked for my prom picture but I haven't scanned one as of yet.  Maybe I will for a Flashback Friday this week.  Excuse the water marks on the survived our house being on fire when I was 16.


  1. I like the three positive parent stories. We all have two sides and it's good of you to show both.

  2. Cool that your mom went to the concert with you and you had fun.

  3. It's always nice to see the good with the bad, we have to see both to know how the other feels. Great memories!

  4. I had an alcoholic father too- yes there are some good memories in there as well- glad you shared yours.

  5. You really opened up here! Parenting is hard and I think most parents try to what they think is right, but they definitely make mistakes. I try to do things differently with my kids than the way my parents did.

  6. I always think about my childhood and can remember the bad things that happened more than the good. I wonder why that is? I'm sure I had happy memories, but the ones that stand out are the hard times.

  7. i just have to say thank you for being so honest and open! i love that you shared both sides of your story :) you came out amazing! and i LOVE the homecoming picture, its classic!! thanks so much for joining in!

  8. Your honestly about your family is to be comended. Really whos life is perfect, definitely not mine either!

    I'm so sorry that you don't have the relationship with your sisters that it sounds like you would like to. MY sisters & I are VERY close, but my brother feel into drugs & many a months, even years in the past have gone by with only a brief check in while he is clean. He is doing better at this moment, I hope it continues.

    I LOOOVE your childhood memories. It is those little moments that let us as children know that there are better things, behaviors & people out there when things are dark.

    You are beautiful.

  9. love love love your 3 childhood stories. i also love how you really opened up about growing up and your parents.

    thanks for linking up!


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