Friday, November 30, 2012

Friday Confessional


It's that time of week for Confessions.  Party is at High-Heeled Love

I confess...

This is going to be a different type of confession.  One that I never thought I would confess.  One if someone would have told me I was going to say I would have never believed that person, if it were a few years ago.

I confess...

This confession is going to be about my Dad.  I admire him and hope I can be like him.  Yes, that is right.  Not his past but now.  See I would not have believed the person if he/she told me I was going to post that 3 years ago.

I confess...

I would have thought he/she was out of his/her mind.  My father?  Mine?  This man by no means has earned "Father of the Year" status.  He told me over and over when I was young how ugly I am.  How fat I am.  How I would be lucky to find someone.  He told me several times he wished I was six feet under.  He was abusive in every sense to me and to Lisa as well as Mom.  He had his good moments too.  At first it was bad only when he was drunk, but later all the drinking and brain injury accidents I think did more harm.  The girls in our neighborhood were not allowed to play with Lisa and me.  I never knew why until I graduated.  My father would stand at the door flashing them.  I stooped to his level one time and told him, no screamed at him, that I wished he was six feet under as well after he accused me of sleeping with the boy I was engaged to.  It was so hurtful to me.  I had not.  He missed my high school graduation due to being in the bar.  He missed my college graduation, wedding, the birth of my first two boys because he was in prison.  He also missed my oldest graduation because he was in jail as well as my second wedding.  See, now you are understanding why I would have thought the person telling me this three years ago was completely off his/her rocker.

I confess...

I have forgiven my father for all the awful things he has done in my life time.  I have not forgotten as you have read, but I can move past this.  He has proved to me he wants his family and is sorry for what he has done.  This is not because he is dieing, he started to change before the cancer.  He realized how much he has missed out in his life.  His daughters, his grandchildren, even great grandchildren.

I confess...

I have bad days knowing he may not be with us.  I do not deal well with people actually dieing.  Knowing the time is shorter.  I do not know what is wrong with me.  Why do I avoid them?  I did this with both grandfathers and my grandmother.  I have a hard time just watching them dieing.  I need to find courage to be here with my father.

I confess...

I do admire him now in life, for the now.  How strong he has been facing cancer.  How he has never said, why me?  He tells me he knows it is in God's hands.  He does not want to die but he knows it is God's will.  He is facing it head on.  I only hope I can be as brave when it comes to be my time.


Monday, November 26, 2012

Happy List


I will be hosting the Mamarazzi's HAPPY LIST again this week for Ricki Jill from Art@Home.  She is hosting for Mamarazzi while she is on a blog break.

What a wonderful Thanksgiving this year.  I am very HAPPY with it.  NO DRAMA and family together.  I did not go to Des Moines, because my Mom does not participate in Thanksgiving anymore, she started this year due to the drama from the previous year.

Everyone got a long, no snide remarks from anyone.

All four of my boys were with me and everyone of them enjoyed one another.

I met Matthew's girlfriend.  She is such a sweetie and she made much effort to get to know all.  What a brave girl to be introduced to three brothers, a mother, a step-father, step-sister, step-grandma, step-aunt, 4 step-cousins, and boyfriend.  Oh yeah, and flirty Taj all at once.  She very much survived.  What a doll!

Todd and Emily earlier on Thanksgiving were able to get one of 10  32inch flat screen t.v. for $97.  Emily wanted one in the worse way.

I was able to survive Black Friday once again and most of my shopping is done.  I hope to finish this weekend and possibly start to decorate the house.

Only down side was a picture of my father posted on facebook with my great-nephew.  He is losing weight, quickly.  Good side of the picture, he looked happy.

What do you have to be HAPPY about?  Come join in on the fun.  Also on Friday Aubrey from High-Heeled Love will be hosting Friday Confessional for Mamarazzi.


Sunday, November 25, 2012

Sunday's Song

The following songs remind me of good times between my parents and with Lisa and I.  Amy and Katie were not born yet.  I have very few warm and fuzzy memories of my parents together but I loved Saturday afternoons when my parents played eight tracks and would dance with one another in the dining room.  Three Dog Night was always one played.

 Another band played was The Guess of my favorites.  I loved watching them slow dance with one another.

Jim Croce was another favorite of ours.

After Amy was born we played a lot of this song.  Amy was definitely Daddy's girl. I do not know why but my little sister loved this song.

My Dad is so in love with Reba...maybe it was.  I really do not know what type of music he is into now.  This was his favorite song. 

My Mom, she was into Huey Lewis.  I would tease her telling her that he was her boyfriend.

Actually there are so many other bands and singers that remind me of times with my parents and sisters.  Music has always been a big part of my life.  It was my salvation during my parents divorce.  Music and my boys were the salvation during my divorce to their father.  

I will be posting this to Monday's Music Moves me as well, hosted by XMAS Dolly.


Thursday, November 22, 2012

Thankful Thursday

Today will be a post about Taj.  I am very thankful for our first grandchild.  Taj was born early and was a little tiny at the beginning.

I wanted to wait to post or introduce Taj although I have posted several things about Taj.  I even posted a "Thank you Kera" you can read it by clicking HERE.

I have to admit I was worried for Kera when she told me she was pregnant.  I was worried because her boyfriend was not dependable and even though she said she could do it on her own, she had no clue how much work it will be and what she was getting into.  It is really hitting her now that Emily is not living with her and Taj is more active as well.

Taj was a little jaundice when he was born and was kept in the hospital a little longer because of it.

We all fell in love with Taj right from the beginning.  Noah was a little afraid to hold him at first because of how small he was.  Taj was born about a month early and was under five pounds when he was born.

Kera is very lucky because he was a good baby.  He rarely cried.  I started to sing "Patty Cake", "Itsy Bitsy Spider", and "I'm a Little Tea Pot" at an early age to name a few.  He loved any type of interaction and I would provide it with him whenever he was over at our house.  He would love to snuggle up when he was tired and let me rock and sing him to sleep.  He sucks his pointer finger and middle finger when he is tired and rub his or the person who is holding him ear.  He will go up to the little kids at the Day Care School and rub their ears too.  He has this thing with people's ear lobes.  He used to try to suck on his Grandpa's when he was very little, but only did this with Grandpa.

Taj loves to interact with his uncles and aunts.  I can just speak on those that live in my house, he has a special relationship with Ethan and Noah because he sees them more.  I believe he has a special relationship with Emily as well because he lived with her up until a few months ago.  I love watching him interact with Ethan and Noah.  He will sit down and copy them or babble as if he is joining in on the conversation.  I love how the boys react back as if he really is joining.  He has everyone wrapped around his little finger, even the older boys.  He is everyone sunshine and has blended the family as one.  This makes me so very happy.

Taj is nearly 18 months and is picking up words daily.  He can count to five, he knows how to say 'more' in sign language for several months.  This is how he tells us if he wants more of something.  He also learned how to say "I Love You" in sign language as well.  It is so cute to watch him.  He sings "Itsy Bitsy Spider" now, not all of the words but enough for you to know what he is singing without you watching his hand motions.  He absolutely loves to play Ring A Round The Rosy with the boys, especially Ethan.  He loves the outdoors.  He loves to run around our yard and he tries his hardest to get into the garden with Grandpa.  He is definitely Grandpa's little buddy.  He loves books.  He makes monsters growls with his fingers curled out every time he growls.  He knows the sound monkey's make.  Taj loves laughter.  He loves to make people laugh and he loves to join in when someone is laughing.

I think his favorite thing right now is cooking with me.  If he thinks I am cooking he will toss whatever and run full speed to the kitchen so he can help me.  He knows any time I get the pitcher out for Kool-Aid he gets to help and is standing and waiting as patiently as 16 month old can wait at the sink for me to pick him up.  He knows he gets a long spoon to help stir and he gets to help add the water.  Recently I have him pouring in anything from a box into the pot as well.  Some day Taj will be on Top Chef and he will tell the world, his Grandma or Nana as he calls me, inspired him to be a chef.  Look for a cute guy who loves to flirt with women named Taj.


Wednesday, November 21, 2012

REPOST - PPND - Pallido Ponto Nigral Degneration

*Edit - 11/21/2012*

It has been nearly two years since I have published this post. In the two years, this post has had 2181 views from all of the world. I have had other people with different types of neurological diseases reach out to me for assistance with setting up a post similar. When I spoke to them, I asked how they found me and I was told they were referred to me by the Mayo Clinic in Florida. I feel great that I have been able to provide something for others to use and the doctors recognize what a value post like this can be. Educating is a big key in fighting any disease.

I am reposting this.  For the original post and if you want to read comments please click HERE.

Saturday, November 27, 2010Pallido Ponto Nigral Degeneration (PPND)

When I met the boys' father, his father was just in the beginning stages of what they thought was Parkinson's disease only thing was it was not like normal Parkinson's disease. My ex's Mother and Father went to the University of Nebraska for a 3rd opinion and by the grace of God they found this wonderful doctor that has basically devoted 23 years to this disease.

(Click here to read an article about his research for this disease)

Before my ex and I were married we talked about having children because of this disease. At that time they still did not know too much other then a form of Parkinson's. We both agreed that we would try for children. Where I was coming from is: one is never guaranteed how long to live and if by chance one of our children were to become ill with this disease he/she could do a lot in his/her life in the 40 some years. I also felt I had to put my faith in God. Medicine is always changing and I felt strong by the time my ex husband's generation came about there would be something there, maybe not a cure but something.

Eventually, the gene was identified for this disease and the doctor named the disease (his second choice) but there was not much interest by others to help with research since it is only one family that is affected here in the United States. 2001 The Des Moines Register ran a 3 day series article about the disease and devoted one article to the boys' grandfather. One week later my ex husband was fired from his job. Many companies are leery when they find out about a degenerative disease. This disease is like most neurological diseases it becomes activated in the 40s, however this is a rapid degenerative disease and typical life expectancy is 8 years. My ex's cousins reside in Montana. Here is a link to a series of articles that their hometown wrote.

This January it will be 16 years since the boys' grandfather passed away. Out of the four siblings 3 have been tested for the gene and one chooses not to know. 2 of the 3 carry the gene. My ex is the one who does not. What does this mean, you may ask? It means he will not become ill with this disease, nor any of his off springs, so my boys will not get this disease as well. I would have been thrilled if the results were all 3 did not carry the gene. This means the other 2 will eventually get this disease and their children will have a chance to have this gene as well. Many people are now becoming interested in this family because the research that the doctor and team have been working on may assist Alzheimer's. This disease affects 4 other families in the world, 1 in France, 2 in Japan, and 1 in Ireland.

As of today they are working on a breakthrough. If anyone is interested in making a donation, you may want to contact Dr. Wszolek. He is currently at The Mayo Clinic in Florida. He is the doctor that has dedicated the past 23 plus years.

If you are unable to make any donations, at least pray for this family. I can not even imagine what my ex-mother-in-law will have to go through. I know it was hard on her when she was losing her husband and to know now that two of her four children will eventually go through the same thing.

*Edit - 11/21/2012*

I am also including a comment, my ex-brother in law has posted within this blog. In case those who are reading do not read the feed back.

My name is Dave Titler and Jolene is talking about my dad and any family who wants to chat or needs information PLEASE contact me at and I will help with whatever u want. I have the gene and I know all about the disease. Im in contact with cousins all over the U.S. and can help so please contact me

November 19, 2012 8:18 PM


Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Happy List

I am hosting this week's Happy List while Ricki Jill from Art@Home is taking care of her family.  She is stepping in for Mamarazzi while she is on a bloggy break.  It is so simple, just post what you are happy about and join the party.  Copy the little button here and link up down below.


My HAPPY list will be very short this week. 

1.  I am HAPPY our busy season is getting close to the end.  The overtime is great but I am just so tired.They wanted people to volunteer to stay late tonight but I had plans for tonight.
2,  I am HAPPY we were able to go out for Emily's birthday dinner celebration. Everyone but Joshua was able to make it and we ate at Carlos O'Kelly's.  Umm...the mister was not so HAPPY when he saw the bill for all of us, however it was his idea to go out and not cook something at home.  I think he was trying to make it easier on me since I have been working so many hours.
3.  I am HAPPY Noah's birthday party Saturday was a success.  I have to post about it later with a few pictures.  This year was is golden birthday...13 on the 13th, and the 14th was Emily's.
4.  I am HAPPY this Thursday I will be meeting Matthew's girlfriend for the first time.  I am so HAPPY to get to meet her.  She is making him HAPPY.
5.  I am thrilled, Matthew was offered to go to Corporate to be an assistant general manager for Jimmy Johns.  This will be a great opportunity for him to make money and save for college.  He will have to commit to this position and over 50 hours a week for one year but this may be his biggest break to get back to college and not worry every semester if he will be able to afford it.  He only has a year and a half left.
6.  I am HAPPY this week is a short work week and I am super excited to go BLACK FRIDAY shopping.  I hope we get everything we are trying to get.

What are you HAPPY about?  Come link up and join the fun.


Monday, November 19, 2012

My 2nd Letter to Matthew

Dear Matthew

I must say I was actually starting to worry some if you were an alcoholic but you have proved to me I do not have to be so concerned about this any longer.  You have your eye on the prize once again and both feet on the path you had chosen a few years ago.  You have shown you are a hard worker once again and have made the right choices so you can accomplish your goal.

I am very proud of you and when you told me you were being offered to go to corporate so you can be an assistant general manager, I knew then, you would be able to continue with your education as you had wanted.  I realize you will have to dedicate one year to the company but you are making the right choices by making this commitment.  I hope the last year and a half of college is easier on you financially where you do not have to worry as much on how to pay for the semester or possibly even work less while you are in school.

I understand, your brother irritates you rather easily any more.  You too acted that way at his age, hopefully he will out grow this stage as well.  Some things in life are not worth a battle.  Family does mean everything and sometimes you just have to pick the battle.  Let it be my son, some battles are not worth it.  I know he frustrates you using Grandpa's illness as an excuse, but this is definitely not a one worth the battle.  He did not gain anything by doing so. 

I know it is hard for you to understand, but he can be a very sensitive person and we all deal with death or someone dying differently.  I understand you boys were not close to your grandfather for years, but that is not your fault.  It was a choice I made.  I always wanted the best for you and while your grandfather chose to drink, I did not want my boys around him.  I know it hurt you that your grandfather never went to your graduation but he did Joshua's.  I do believe if your grandpa was around he would have went to your graduation as well.  He was in jail during the time of your graduation, the same reason he did not show up for my wedding.  It was not because I never invited him or he did not want to come.  He was in jail for drinking and driving.  I also told you he missed both of my graduations, high school and graduation. Your grandfather has realized how much he gave up for alcohol and has told his daughters how sorry he really was.  I know he wishes he had an opportunity to be close to you boys.  I wish I could heal this hurt for you.  I have experienced this hurt from him as well for many years.  You need to find your peace quickly since his time is limited with us.  I do not want you to have any regret when his time comes.  I have forgiven him for everything he has done.  The key word is forgiven, some things I will not be able to ever forget.

Please remember, things will always get better, and somethings, you just need to let it be.

I love you with all of my heart,
Your Mom 


Sunday, November 18, 2012

Sunday's Song

I have been feeling blue this weekend.  I think it is because I am so tired.  I ended working 51.5 hours this week and the last four days my husband had to wake up at two a.m., which meant I woke up four and a half hours earlier then I needed.  I do not have the ability to fall back to sleep easily.  Yesterday was a breaking point from the exhaustion.  My house has not been picked up since I was working and Noah was having his birthday party yesterday as well, so I started cleaning early.  Today's song popped in my head while I was cleaning... comfort songs.  The first is not one of my favorites but it does make me happy.  I remember when my Mom would be cleaning on Saturday morning and this song would play on the radio.  She would always stop and dance with me and Lisa.  Every time "I love you" would be sung she would either touch my nose or Lisa.

The Beatles are my comfort music as well; heck The Beatles are every time of music to me.  This song though I listened to a lot while my parents were going through their divorce.  Enjoy!


Thursday, November 15, 2012

Thankful Thursday

I am thankful for our house.  I love this house and it is finally starting to feel like my home.  I have lived in this house for close to eight years but until January 2011 the house was mainly decorated and painted when Todd and his ex-wife lived here.  I have a few of my decorations here and there but it did not feel like it was part of me.

Our first renovation was the kitchen.  I love how it turned out.  You can read about it HERE if you want.  We just completed the little details recently. I love the white hinges we added.  It just adds a little more character.
I also love my plates I decorated.

We painted the main living room but I have not posted any pictures as of yet because I am not done with adding my touches to it.  We have completed the wall portion in the small living room, I posted about it HERE.  We still plan to add more, like painting the baseboards and a few other additions here and there.

I am thankful for the nice size yard we have for gardening and the children to be able to still play in the yard.  I love our porch.  This was the first room Todd and I did together.  The only thing his ex had a say in was the carpet they bought together, but everything (no walls just frame was there prior) was a choice Todd and I made.

Our house could have been a little larger when we had all six of the children living here but we made due.  Now with just two boys living here it seems so much bigger.  I feel for those who have lost their homes from storms.  I know the feeling of being displaced, when I was 16 we had a house fire.  I am very thankful we have a home to come to at the end of the day.  A home where we feel safe and welcome.  A place where we belong.


Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Will You Be My Friend?

It is crazy at work lately with our busiest time of the year.  Our supervisors are trying to make things fun for us and we have had theme days.  Now I have been there nearly eight years and I have never participated.  I typically say, "Oh I am going to do this." or "I am going to do that." just to make people laugh.  This time our theme was "Will you be my friend if...?" I told two of my co-workers I was going to be a redneck and told them some of the things I wanted to do.  Again they laughed at me thinking I would not carry through.  I surprised them and myself and did this time.

I took Noah's wig from Halloween.  *check *
I told them I was going to get an old cap.  *check*
I told them I was going to find something to block my tooth. *check, I used a raisin.*
I told them I was going to wear an old dingy t-shirt. *check*
I told them I was going to wear a flannel shirt over it. *check*

I did not tell them I was going to stuff my shirt with a pillow trying to give the impression of a beer belly and carry a 24 oz of Keystone Light.  I also never told them that I was going to put my powder make up in my back pocket making it look like chew in my back pocket.

I would walk up to them and ask, "Will you be my friend?" and scratch my butt. I had everyone laughing some even ended up crying from laughing so hard.  People did not recognize me at all.

So, would you be my friend?  *scratch scratch*


What's Wrong With People?

I am worried about how we humans treat one another.  Are we forgetting the teaching of The Bible?  Luke 6:31 "Do to others as you would have them do to you." Alright so why the bullying?  Why pick on a person because they are different from you?  I read and hear stories about people who are picked on because how they look or because of their mental ability, or how about because who they love.  It just sickens me.  We are not to judge.  Matthew 7:1-5 "Do not judge so that you may not be judged. For with the judgment you make you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get. Why do you see the speck in your neighbor's eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? Or how can you say to your neighbor, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' while the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbor's eye."

Why are so many people turning their heads and allowing this behavior?  Nothing angers me more than peers, especially turning the other cheek instead of helping those in need.  Those who do this are setting a horrible example of how to live one's life.  I applaud those who are willing to stand up for the rights of others.  I read an article last week about this high school football team protecting this non-popular girl who had some learning disabilities.  She was being teased and bullied.  The quarterback took it upon his self and then asked his fellow team mates to walk her to class or sit with her to make sure she is no longer bullied.  This article made me feel there is truly hope for the human race.  These boys not only did something wonderful for this girl but they too mentioned they received reward as well with becoming her friend.

I know going through one's high school years and junior high school years can be challenging.  I guess I never worried about fitting into one type of group.  Do not take me wrong, I did not want to be an outsider but I had no problems being friends with all.  As long as someone did not mistreat me or do wrong unto me, I would attempt to be a friend.  We had one girl who had horrible scars on her body.  She would have this odor due to the scares.  I was new in this junior high and so many kids would tease her.  I just sat down next to her and did my best not to show I noticed the odor.  I was her friend up until 11th grade when I over heard her talking about me.  At first I was so angry thinking how dare she, I am the one who stood up for her.  I never made fun of her or avoided her because of her smell, trust me some days I really wanted to but it was not who I was then nor now.  Behavior of others leads me to my next discussion today.

We have been taught and know one can win an election not by the people's choice but the by the delegates vote also known as the electoral votes. As adults we teach our children not to throw fits or tantrums if they lose or not get his/her way.  I have never had this concern before regarding the people in our nation.  I can say I enjoy the freedom we have or know of.  We are taught in school and by adults how our country gives us a right to vote for our leadership.  Why on earth are so many Americans acting like toddlers right now just because who they voted for did not win this past election?  It is very discouraging we can not act as adults should act.  A woman runs over her husband where he is hospitalized and in critical condition because he did not vote and Obama won.  People signing up to have their state secede from the Union again because they are not happy with the way the election turned out.  I used to think it was just the generation who are teens and twenty year old who thought they were entitled to everything and thought everyone owed them.  I guess by the actions I just wrote about it is not only the younger generations who act this way.  The way the people are acting truly worries me.  What kind of Nation are we turning into? When did we forget how to play well with others and accept that our person is not always going to win?  I realize our choices this election had issues but we had an opportunity to chose which one would lead our Nation.  In some countries the people do not even have the opportunity to vote.  To run another person over because they did not vote or because of low voting turn out is not a reason to secede.  How depressing are we as a Nation or even as human beings?


Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Happy List


Today I will be hosting the HAPPY LIST for Ricki Jill @ Art@Home who was hosting it for Mamarazzi while she is on a break.

Here is my HAPPY LIST for this week:

1. I am HAPPY to be able to help a friend who really needs it right now.  My heart and prayers go out to her and her family.

2.  I am very HAPPY a college friend found me via facebook.  I have been trying to locate her for awhile now.


3.  My ex is cooperating about Christmas.  The boys wanted to come with me to my Mom's on Christmas since it most likely will be my Dad's last.  HAPPY HAPPY, not that it is my Dad's last but no battle with the ex.  This is such a huge relief.  Typically it is a battle every turn with this man.

January 2012

4.  Taj's sleep over on Friday went well.  We definitely spoil that little boy.  When he awoke the next morning, he snuggled with me and I sung, "You Are My Sunshine."  after the words, "I love you" he reached up to my face and placed his tiny hands on my cheek and kissed me softly.  Once I finished the song, he clapped his hands and in a soft angelic voice said "Yeah".  HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY.

5.  Grandpa and the boys taught him to say "Yo" whenever he wears Grandpa's hat backwards. He was saying all morning, but as soon as I get the camera out he quits.  I still have to post the video because just watching him dance makes me HAPPY.

What are you HAPPY about?  Come join in and link up.


Sunday, November 11, 2012

Monday's Music Moves Me...(best) kids TV show theme


Last week I chose to start posting my Sunday's Songs on a couple of other meme regarding music.  I noticed a few of my other bloggy friends doing it.  Well, one from XMAS Dolly's site every other week I might have to add another post on Monday because she post themes every other week and if my choice of Sunday Song does not fit, I will/feel the need to post one on Monday to go with the theme...thus for today's post.  The spot light dancer, Time Out for Mom chose...(best) kids TV show theme songs

1.  You Tube,  lock & load! 
2.  Grab "Monday's Music Moves Me" Button.
3.  SIGN LINKY, Follow us, & leave a Rockin' comment!
Come join the fun at XmasDolly's site by clicking HERE.

I guess I did not quite understand but I am the spotlight dancer this week.  Woo Hoo!  I get to chose the theme for next time we have a theme.  Theme I pick is songs you and your folks enjoy(ed), past and present.

Spotlight Dancers
First I have to post this...I absolutely love it...I  watch it every now and then just for the humor of it all.  Alright, YouTube is not cooperating to let me post it, but click HERE to watch it.  It is truly funny!!

The next one is not for a kids TV show but I have to post it because of how my grandson just loves this song, this one is for Taj.  Although, the lyrics to this song is absolutely great.  I love the theory in it.

Now for my favorite kids TV show themes:

My top favorite is from PBS's Arthur.
Seriously, a very positive message for not only children but for everyone.  Maybe the adults of today should be forced to listen to this song every morning before they step out the door and begin their day.  We all should learn to work and play and get along with each other.

Another PBS theme song I love is The Reading Rainbow the original is great but when I went searching for it on YouTube I found this rendition and found such humor with it, so it is the version making my post.  Maybe more parents would be interested in reading a little more often.

My boys would sing this song often and loved coming home from school to watch it.

I am sure there are many more but this is where I will stop.  Enjoy!

Sunday's Song

This week I have been very disgusted with the media, television, radio, and Internet.   It makes me so sad that we still have to be divided after elections.  What is wrong with us, America?  We all have the right to vote.  Okay, if the person you voted for did not win, do not bicker about it.  It is called democracy.  I am not saying the person I wanted to win did or not, but I have accepted who we as America voted in.  Whether it is Obama or Romney I do not think it is going to lead to dooms day.  Seriously???  Both candidates had some good and both had a lot of bad, but our country is built with the decision of us Americans voting.  Move on and be united so we can over come what we need to focus on.  Quit bickering!  Become Me/Women and work with what we as a Nation have to make it is the best WE need and can be. *Stepping off my soap box now*  I am sorry to any blog friend I may have offended but  I am worried about our country.

This week's song is led from the elections and how I feel. 

I also posted a few minutes of an opening of an HBO series.  People of America should truthfully listen to it. We can be a great country again.  We need to be united and move on.  We should not be identified by who we voted for.


Thursday, November 8, 2012

Thankful Thursday

The month of November, on Thursday I post a Thankful Thursday in honor of Thanksgiving.

This Thursday I am thankful for having my parents around still. I know that sounds sort of corny but I am. I know this will not be the case every year. I learned to be grateful my mom is around right after her accident 3 years ago. She was hit crossing the street. The guy who hit her had to perform CPR right there on the spot. She broke her shoulder and her leg. She needed to surgery on her leg because part of the bone was crushed. She also had some crystals knocked up to the base of her optical nerve. She has short term memory problems and can not sit for very long and concentrate on things. Due to the later two issues she is no longer able to work. She moves about well but gets tired easy. My dad has cancer and has a high quality of life still. We are not joking our selves and know this will not always be the case because it is not curable but we will take as many days as we can with him being pain free still. So for these points I am thankful for having both my parents in my life still.

I am thankful for having a wonderful mother in law. The second time around I have been very blessed not only husband this time but with the mother in law too. I truly love her and she treats me with respect.

I am thankful I have a strong relationship with all four of my boys. We have our moments especially teen years but they know I will always be here for them. Matthew is now on track with his life and is working hard on paying his college debt to be able to enroll again in college. He is in hopes it will be just one year off but he is working on it. He also has a girlfriend who is treating him correctly. This is a good thing for him as well. Joshua has a full time job now and he is working part time. He has a lot of debt for someone who is only 19. Thankfully he understands now and is working off the debt and hopefully in a year he will be able to go back to college as well. He is loving his new full time job at the plasma center. Ethan, has realized the world is not always against him, you know how teenagers can be. He is learning to deal with his anger and seems to be happier other than the loss of several friends. I wish I had a magic wand to help my children when they are down. Noah, seems to be adjusting to junior high better than I feared. He still is a little immature for his age but he is doing an outstanding job in school right now. He will be hitting the age I hate so much in just a week... 13. I do not know what it is about this age the child becomes an alien. I have accepted this and I hope this will make it easier on me. I am also thankful I have a stronger relationship with my step daughters. I can not say this has always been the case. It was rough starting with Kera but I feel we have a great relationship. The youngest, Emily has matured a lot and I am very proud of her and love the fact whenever she leaves she will hug me and tell me she loves me. It makes me feel warm inside.

I am thankful to have a supporting husband. He truly loves me and looks out for me. He has moments that make me think... "What is he thinking of?" but he then takes a second thought about the situation and realizes what he has done and tries to rectify what he did wrong. He looks out for me and tries to make my life easier. Sometimes he makes it a little more difficult because he has less patience with the younger boys. This because he has watched how they have treated me over the years and feels they should know better. He is right on many levels but of course the children do not see this. I just think how much better my life would have been if I met Todd first, but then I would not have learned the lessons I did from my first marriage, I would not have the boys I do, and he would not have learned the lessons he learned from his first marriage as well. I guess if I could have anything, I just wish I was as limber, active, energy, and the size I was when I was younger but the knowledge I have now...but then again, don't we all.     Untitled

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Stage 4~ 6 Months

My Dad had another CAT Scan.  The news was not good this time.  The tumors are growing larger in his liver.  My Mom took my Dad to his doctor appointment.  She asked what stage he is in.  He has had cancer for a year now and we had no clue what stage his cancer was.  Last December he had an operation where they removed his Adrenalin Gland by laparoscopy because it was full of cancer too.  The doctor looked at the information regarding that surgery since they are unable to cut him open and do a biopsy on his liver due to his liver condition.  The doctor told my parents he is in stage 4.  The type he has is the worse kind he was told and will spread quickly.  He gave my Dad six months.  My Dad is feeling great still.  He told me he is no pain at all still and was shocked when he was told stage 4 and six months.  He asked the doctor his opinion if he quit smoking again if it will help the aneurysm.  The doctor's response was, you have six months left, if it were me and I smoked, I would continue to smoke.  You have done the damage already, the aneurysm is not going to kill you, it's the cancer that is going to get you and six months will not make a difference.  His outlook is good and you never know, doctors have been wrong, maybe he will surprise him and have longer than six months.
I am just happy he is still in no pain.

I do not know what else to say.  I just had to share.


He Loves Me