Saturday, November 30, 2013

Saturday Babbling

I am so excited today Taj will be over for the day. It has been a week since I have seen the little guy.  I have a fun day planned with him.  Papa and I bought some new toys for him to play with at our house along with new videos.  I picked up some pre-cut Christmas cookie dough to make cookies with him.  I will make my homemade cookies in a couple of weeks.  This was just a spur of the moment.  (If you have not seen my Wordless Wednesday yet, check it out.  I just love Kera's picture.)

Black Friday was good to Todd and I.  We are have completed our shopping for Taj, Noah, and started on each of the other children.  I am so excited to start a gift for Emily and Taj.  It will have to wait for next weekend, unless my Dad feels he is too sick for company again.  He doesn't want to make us sick and miss work he told me.  *sigh*  I wish he would not feel this way.  Our time with him is short and we know this, but what can I say, he is being a parent trying to look out for his children, even if they are adults now.

Here is what I am going to paint for Emily.
I think it is going to be fun to paint and I am so excited.    Taj's little paintings I am still trying to figure the backgrounds out but I am so excited to see them completed.

I want to make something for Matthew and Hannah too but I am having problems finding someone who can frame it exactly how I want.  I will not give up until I get what I want with it.

Enjoy your Saturday!


Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Wordless Wednesday

 Okay a few words.  
Picture taken by his Mama in Florida. 
His first visit to the Beach/Ocean.  
I miss my Taj so much.


Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Happy List

  photo ArtatHomeButton_zps18898da7.jpg

It is time for our HAPPY LIST party hosted by Ricki Jill over at ART @ HOME.  Go on over and check out all the happiness.

This week's Happy List ...

To start with I am HAPPY I was able to participate in another Vino Van Gogh class.  I wanted to do this painting in the worst way for Kera.  I think I have decided to give it to her.

I did have a great time although it started a little rough.  I always enjoy my time with my friend Susan.  She is sitting right next to me.

I am so HAPPY Todd and I began to dance again.  I think the Rumba is my favorite.  I know it is Todd's favorite and this is my favorite song to Rumba to while we are at class.
I just love this tune and can get lost into Todd's eyes as we dance to it.

I am HAPPY God answered my prayers last week.  I prayed often to have my Dad be alert still so Matthew would be able to chat with him and carry on a good conversation.  He was not able to make it the week prior.  He was in great shape last Saturday.  He was pre-pain good.  He did not move slow, he did not use the cane to walk, you could hear him speak.  He laughed and joked around.  He did not look scared.  I asked God to please grant one more good day.  Tonight my sister Amy went to see him.  She said he was good but the his belly is starting to bloat again.  Sadly they will not be doing anything for him this time because Hospice feels it is more abrasive to drain.  Hopefully they will up his water pills to aid him.

I am so HAPPY we will be getting a new printer on Friday or Thursday night.  I cannot wait, so I can scan old photos and print some photos I need for a gift I am making for Taj.  I miss that little boy.  He took his first airplane ride to Florida with his Mom and Dad to see his Dad's side of the family.  He has never seen them and the photos and videos Kera is posting on Facebook, he is having a great time.  HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY!

I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

What do you have to be HAPPY about?


Sunday, November 24, 2013

Sunday's Song & Catch Up

Hello my friends!  I have missed blogging and my friends, I believe it is time to get back to blogging.  It may not be as often but I will be posting.   While I was on my little break I was dealing with a lot of emotions... sorrow for knowing the end is coming for my Father.  He has fought a long brave battle with his cancer.  The Lord has blessed me with providing the opportunity for my Dad to realize how much he was giving up for alcohol and he made amends with all of this two years prior to his diagnosis.  He became the father who cared and wanted to become the grandfather the grandchildren needed.  I am grateful during the first two years of his battle with liver cancer he experienced no pain what so ever.  My boys were able to get to know their grandfather.  Last Christmas, my boys played pool with him and they all told me how they never knew how well he played on our drive home.  I guess that would have been my fault, I never shared that with him.  I need to start sharing all the good things about him to them.  I never realized that was a good thing because while I was growing up, he did play but in the bars which kept him from his family but to my boys they were impressed.  Another emotion I have been dealing with is guilt.  Guilt that I kept my boys away from him, yet I believe if I had to do it again I would have still made the same decision at the time.  I do not want my boys to be around his violent side or drunk side.  I should have kept more of what he did wrong to myself but I wanted to use him as why they should not act that way.  I also feel some guilt for not being closer to Des Moines to help my sister with my Dad, but I know this is the place I should be.  It was a good move for me and my boys, something we all needed.

Work has been crazy as well, so busy with people taking the rest of their personal time off since it does not roll over and having one on maternity leave.  I feel like I am drowning there and cannot keep up with assisting their work which has to be done as well as mine.  The worrier in me is now some of mine is behind and I do not want it to hurt my chances for a promotion (which I think I might be getting) or raises.

I have been working out more, except this past week.  My personal trainer is great and created a great workout with weight machines for me and get this...planking.  I am not good at it and shake.  I can only do 30 seconds and it is modified to my knees.  My side planking I can only do 20 seconds and my right side is much stronger where I can even use no hands to help.

Last  Tuesday I went to another Vino Van Gogh and did a painting for Kera.  Well I am not sure...tell me what you think.  Do you think it is gift worthy?  I plan on picking up a frame for it.  She is very much into drinking wine.  Honest opinions please I am really torn on giving it or not.  You might need to click on the picture to make it larger.
While I was trying to find a parking spot for the Vino Van Gogh class another woman with a car full of people who was also going to attend the class, decided to put her car in reverse and step on the accelerator without looking in her rear view mirror and crashed into me.  I was directly behind her waiting for her to leave the parking lot.  I am thankful that it is only my bumper which received any damage at all.

Now on to my Sunday Song. I love this song and heard it playing on one of the stations in Des Moines yesterday while driving from visiting my Dad to go visit my Mom.  Although, I am not alone one bit because I have a strong support system, rough times do make people stronger.  You just have to find the right source to be able to deal. Enjoy!


Monday, November 18, 2013

Update and More Time Needed

I know I originally posted my break would only be one week.  Thank you for all your support.  My Mom’s surgery went through fine.  It took her five hours to recover.  She is doing better now.  At this time, I am driving to Des Moines weekly to see my Dad.  My emotions are all over the board.  I cry so easily right now but not in front of my boys.  Todd has been so supportive to me.  He is my rock.  It was a very rough week last week.  Our neighbor behind us, his daughter and Noah have been boyfriend and girlfriend off and on (more on) for the past four years.  Puppy Love beginning in elementary.  Her father committed suicide at the beginning of the week.  One of my dear friends from my old job (one of the two ladies who kept me going there) had a stroke on Thursday of last week.  My father has deteriorated a lot from Tuesday to Sunday.  He can barely walk now without a cane.  We can barely hear him speak and he is starting to rattle when he breathes.  He moves so slow.  Please do not give up on me.  Seriously, I am in no shape to blog right now.  I am sorry to my followers, I need to take more time than one week off.  I plan on turning the comments off on this post because I feel so bad for not commenting back to you within a reasonable time.  I will be back but most likely not before Thanksgiving, so to all my American blogger friends, I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving.


Friday, November 8, 2013

Friday Confessional

It is Friday and you all know what that means?  Yep you guessed
it, time to fess up.  Come join the fun over at Aubrey's High-Heeled Love.  She host this little party every Friday.

It has been a long time since I confessed...

I confess...

I have several comments I need to post and respond to.  I promise I will do so by the middle of next week.  I have never just sat on them so long before but I have had a lot going on.

I confess...

Most of last week I could not even see, I could not see at all out of my left eye.  They watered and watered, especially the left eye.  It also burned, it burned so much my nose even ran.  I was a mess.  Two weeks ago this coming Sunday I was participating in AquaFit and opened my eyes under water as I was coming up from cooling off.  I ended up getting a chemical burn and the burn plus my rubbing, I had a small tear in my cornea and a significant abrasion to the cornea as well.  I went to Urgent Care the next day but they just found the chemical burn and told me they would follow up with me in a couple of days to see how my eye was doing.  Friday came and nothing from them and I could not take the pain any longer, so I made an appointment to see my eye doctor and that was when I finally was prescribed an antibiotic and two different lubricants for my eye.  One was a thick gel for bed time, basically every morning I was re-tearing all the healing the cornea made during the day because my eye was drying out while I slept so, when the eye lids opened every morning... RIP!  I had to see him again on Tuesday this week.  97% healed and I have most of my eye sight back.  It will be another 2 weeks before it is 100%.  It made it difficult to do my job let alone read on the computer or books.  I also have the all is good sign to begin to exercise again.

I confess...

Todd and I started our dance lessons last night.  I loved it!

I confess...

Due to my next confession I am going to take a small blog break.  I need to focus on me emotionally right now.  I do not want to step away because Thankful Thursday's are important and I only post them in November, so I am going to take a break until Thursday and we will see how I am doing.

I confess...

I felt like a truck hit me last night while I was driving home.  Most nights I call my mom while I am driving home.  It is the only time I do not have interruptions from children while I am talking.  She informed me she is having surgery on Monday.  I was shell shocked.  I did not even know there was anything wrong.  It will be minor but I hate the thought of my mom going under anesthesia.  She had a hard time coming out of it with her last two surgeries.  She had a lump on her front side, ends up being a hernia so as I said minor surgery but I know it can have complications too because this happened to Todd's mom's boyfriend two years ago.

I confess...

She also told me some very awful news about my dad.  Remember a few weekends ago I rushed to Des Moines because he was taken to the hospital.  Fluid building up due to the liver cancer.  They ended up tapping him and drained 5 quarts of fluid, that is 10 and a half pounds of fluid they drained.  Well this scared my dad and he has been in pain now, so he has chosen to go ahead and get a new chemo doctor since the insurance company will not cover his chemo doctor.  He has gone without seeing his chemo doctor for three months and no chemo pills for that long too.   Well he saw his new chemo doctor today.  The chemo pills will not work at all now he was off of it for so long.  They have are going to start Hospice for him.  My dad lives with his mom and has two sisters and two brothers living there too.  Well one of his sisters threw a fit saying they cannot come today because she needs to have the washing machine fixed.  They also started to complain about how they do not want Hospice to come in.  They have a lot of boxes and crap stacked up making it difficult to walk.  My mom and sister also have offered for my dad to live with them while he has Hospice coming out.

I confess...

I am very very sad right now and I am having a hard time with this.  We have known for awhile he has a short amount of time with us left but I just felt he was going to beat this somehow.  He has out lived two doctors so far.

I confess...

This is why I am taking my little break.


Thursday, November 7, 2013

Thankful Thursday

In November I always do a Thankful Thursday. I typically will do my Happy List as well but the past couple of weeks have been very hard on me when it comes to reading, so I have been on the Internet and reading books very little.  It has been challenging at work as well.  I will go into that more tomorrow when I do my confessions.

Now for Thankful Thursday

Every year I have posted how I am Thankful for my husband but seriously it is deserving every year.  I am so Thankful how supportive, understanding, protective he is of me.  I have never had a male person be so much to me and devoted to me.  He is truly my soul mate and I am thankful to God every day for the past nearly nine years he has guided Todd into my life.  This man is so incredible, he took a woman (me) into his life, who had four children (and boys at that) all in different ages, one in high school, one in junior high, one in elementary, and the youngest not even in school yet.  He understood what I was leaving (the mess and the support of my Mother and a few great friends) when I moved to Iowa City.  He has become a good role model for the boys and I believe they truly understand he is here to make their life easier too.  He tries to protect me in every way he can.  I love how we are working together towards a healthier us.  It may be frustrating a little (more jealousy on my behalf) how men lose weight so much faster than women but we are doing it together.  He will go to what is generally known as “women” classes to work out with me.  Whenever I am hurt, he tries to protect me more and find ways to help me recover.  He enrolled us five years ago into a Ballroom Dance lessons class and he did not like dancing, however two weeks later he found out he enjoyed it so we finished the complete series.  Last night was our first class starting over with the series.  As we fox trotted, I would look into his eyes and see the love he has for me.  During our rest period, he would ask me with such love in his voice how my knees are holding up.  I am so blessed seriously.  I know what it is like to have someone in your life who is selfish, the connection not being there.  No matter how hard you want it to be or fantasize it, you cannot force it or those emotions if they are not there.  Although I was married to the boys’ father for 16 years (15 of it living with him as a couple) most of those years were not great.  I never asked why me and I am a true believer we are given what we have for a reason.  I am not understand why while it is going on but I can truly say it has made me appreciate the life I have now with Todd.  I am so Thankful for my husband.


Sunday, November 3, 2013

Sunday's Song

I am not sure how I skipped the month of October for my feature off of Babel, but here is the month of Novembers.  I am still loving this CD. Enjoy!


Saturday, November 2, 2013

Halloween 2013 Style! Part Two~The Kids.

This year was a little different.  I have no idea if Joshua went to any Halloween parties.  Ethan worked and did not go to any parties.  He is making plans for next year.  This is Ethan's first year of not dressing up.   It made me a little sad.  Matthew and Hannah went to a party and I have to say, I copied their picture from Facebook in order to have a picture for this Halloween.

Who are you going to call?
Noah was not able to go trick or treating this year because his school thought a concert choir was a must on Halloween.  He did go to a Halloween party however and dressed up as a spy.  I am not sure if he dressed so much like a spy in my opinion but I did think he was a cutie!

Finally you all will find out what Taj, my little Grandson, was for Halloween this year.  
 He was Woody from Toy Story and his best friend was Buzz Lightyear.  The two went trick or treating together.  He wore the hat we picked up for him in Cody, Wyoming.
 Below he just came inside.  He did not like our yard one bit!
 He kept pointing to the front door telling us he was afraid of the monsters.
 Until Papa got the candy out!
 But it did not last long.  He wanted Papa to protect him.
 Once he was in Papa's arms he started to play the hat game with Papa.
 He insisted for Papa to carry him to the car because of the monsters.
 Here is a nice picture of Kera and Taj.
 I just have to share my two little videos of him.  
The first is a video of a few lines he was going to say while he was trick or treating.

The second he was playing with Papa and then shared how he felt about the monsters.


Halloween 2013 Style! Part One~The Yard.

Although I did not post this on Friday as I had hoped, here is my Halloween post for 2013.  It rained more on than off all day and  night on Halloween because of this we chose not to plug in our large strobe light or use our fog machine.  We just felt that water and electricity would not be a great mix.  We also chose not to put our casket out because it is made of cardboard and did not want to ruin it as well.  Our yard was spooky though.  We made four new ghouls for our yard.  Originally they were just stakes and a bust with arms, we chose to add them to a larger stakes and turn over some tomatoes cages for the bodies with yard fabric around the tomato cages for the body.  I really like how they turned out.  They were a nice addition to our cemetery.  We also added a new large Dracula Bat and a new Zombie Baby.  Our music was played from our computer in our bedroom.  We placed the speakers in our window since it was raining outside.
Our new Dracula bat. 
 Our graveyard before dark.
 We tied our Zombie to the mailbox this year on the other side of the sidewalk.  
Poor kids had spooky ghouls on the left and right this year.
 Our new Zombie Baby.
 Then the darkness came and the lights came out.
 The view from the top of our stairs down to the foyer.  
I loved the reflections of the jack-o-lanterns in the window.
 She's a little blurry because she shakes while she talks.
 Our two headed baby.  One head evil, the other good.
 Someone is not resting in peace tonight!
 This guy is coming to visit as well.

 The little kids had to walk past our grave yard to get to our door.
Once they reach the door they have Ms. Witch and her friends.
 They have been hanging around for a few Halloweens.
 A view inside our house.
 This was Todd's costume.  
He handed the candy out this year.
Here are a couple of videos I made this year.  The first is our new Zombie Baby.  
The second is of our yard.  Enjoy!

If you are unable to view from Blogger video, I have uploaded the videos to my Google+.


He Loves Me