Saturday, April 19, 2014

Bonus Book~ Literary Friday

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I am participating with Ricki Jill's from Art @ Home , weekly party  Literary Friday. You should go over to her blog and check out all of the other book reviews.  (Yes, I know it is Saturday...)
 Bereavement Help

Tuesday, April 8 Todd was looking at E-reader Perks, a place one can go to find free electronic books to download.  He came across a book he thought might be useful for when the time came. Bereavement Help by Dick Underwood.  I did download it, little did I know I would need it the very next day.   I began to read it a couple of days after my Dad died, hoping to find some help with the grief.  Under normal conditions I think it would have been a very quick read, only 48 pages, however it did provide me with some coping methods I began to put into action. 

Dick Underwood is a former Minister of Religion and a former Industrial Chaplain within the deep sea fishing industry, former Chief Executive of a national counseling charity in the United Kingdom.  He frequently had to provide the horrible news of a loved one passing.  He explains what Bereavement is and coping strategies as well as the symptoms.  This one I am experiencing, unable to sleep. He explains do not use drugs to assist you because it will only work short term and your body adapts to them.  He found this the most helpful technique.  First, stay awake.  Do not take a nap during the day.  Drink as much caffeine to help you stay awake. Stay awake for 36 hours, your body will sleep because it has been deprived.  Once you get up, even if it is in the middle of the night, you need to get up and stay up until bedtime the following night.  Each night you will sleep longer.  I have tried it and it does work.  I am now able to sleep for 4 hours compared to an hour and a half.

He explains what is normal grief and abnormal.
"Love Brings Pain  If you love someone, you are bound to feel pain at their death.  To be honest, you wouldn't want it any other way. The greater your love, the greater your pain."
He provides a suggestion about setting a time of day where you think of your loved one and any time you think of the loved one outside this time, you are to tell yourself "No, it is not your time, you have to wait."  You are eventually supposed to look forward to that time of thinking of your loved one and making yourself not constantly thinking about your loved one.  I do not know about this suggestion.  I think it is very hard to make yourself stop thinking.  I have found myself after the first day half of the day working on my Dad's slide show wanting to go back to the computer and look at the pictures.  I was fine looking at them and found myself smiling and enjoying the memories.  I just lost it when I watched the slide show with the music.

I know the biggest thing is time but this book for a free book did provide useful tips.   I just highlighted a couple. 


1 comment:

  1. Wow, I really like the time of day suggestion. That makes sense, and I can see how it could eventually be considered a time to look forward to thinking about our loved one. Great choice!



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