Friday, June 7, 2019

Friday Confessional ~ My Friend Eric

It is Friday Again, time for confessions.

I confess...

I have kept in touch with my high school sweetheart over the past years.  He was the guy I went on my first date.  My first kiss.  My first...   He gave me a promise ring our Junior year in High School and our Senior year he gave me an engagement ring.  He treated me as if I was everything.  He would open doors for me. He would pull out my chair for me when we went out to eat.  He would open and close my door for me in the car.  He would carry my books for me.  He smothered me a little too much though.  I am sure if I would have told him to back off he would have.

I confess...

I only broke it off because there were issues with his family and my family.  I have wondered over the years if he and I had married how my life would be now.  Would he still do all the romantic things?  Our lives intermingled a lot because his younger brother married my cousin.  I know he had feelings for me after I was married and had children.  He showed it and he told me he thought about trying to ask me to leave my husband for him.  He would talk to me during family get together.

I confess...

I did look him up when my marriage had ended back in 2004 but found he was happily married with a baby.  I had not seen him after my grandfather died.  We did not have family get together any more. I had mixed emotions then, happy he found someone yet sad I missed out on him.

I confess...

When Lisa got sick we started to communicate every week night and sometimes on the weekend.  He was there to support me with Lisa, just be an ear and a cyber shoulder to cry on.  After she passed is when he checked in on me daily.  He made me laugh.  I was ever so grateful he did.  I could not lean on my husband for this because he could not take my sorrow.  My friend was going through tough times as well.  His marriage was not healthy.  His wife cheated on him and it devastated him.  I was there to support him as well.

I confess..

He started to share lately his feeling he had for me still.  I shared I cared for him and will always but I am in love with my husband.  He understood and stated this is what he loves about me.  The type of person I am.  We would reminisce about the old days.  He started to call me Dreamweaver because I was in his dreams a lot.  He was concerned about his health.  He had high blood pressure, high cholesterol and just found out he was diabetic.  Last month he started to text me less.  I asked what was going on and he shared he had been sick and he was in the hospital.  He did not want to add his problems to mine.  I told him that was non sense because we are friends and friends are there for one another.  We talked on the phone twice the past three months.  It was nice to hear his voice again.  The last time we talked was when he was in the hospital the last time.  He was having breathing problems and chest tightening but the specialist could not find anything.

I confess...

Wednesday night was the last time we texted.  He told me things were getting worse at home with his wife.  He was going to divorce her.  He asked me if I would leave my husband to be with him.  I told him I love my husband and I cannot do that.  I told him I care about him and want our friendship.  He asked me not to text him for awhile.  I told him no problem.  I was so angry and deleted him out of my contacts so I would not have the urge to text him any more.  He was in my dreams that night.  I had a dream he passed away.  I woke up with a horrible feeling.  The dream haunted me all morning shortly after Noon I private messaged him through Facebook.  I asked him if our friendship caused any conflicts with his marriage.  I told him he said it was getting worse did he want to share more.

I confess...

I was caught off guard with the response I received.  It was his sister, she told me he passed away that morning.  I was in shock and thought maybe it was not his sister so I messaged her on her account because we have been friends too.  She went into more details.  My heart hurts so much for the family.  My heart hurts so much I lost a good friend.  My heart hurts so much because of our last conversation was not a good one.  My heart hurts so much because I knew he died so unhappy.

I confess...

Eric, you will always have a special part in my heart.  I will hold on to my memories of you.  I hope you have found the happiness you deserve so much.  I love you dear friend.


Wednesday, June 5, 2019

Wednesday Woo Hoo- Happy List ~ The Grandchildren

Welcome to my Wednesday Woo Hoo - Happy List

I had the best weekend with all of the grandchildren.  As I posted in the past Taj and his Mom are currently living with us, so I get to see my oldest grandchild daily.  We took the twins overnight and the entire day on Saturday to give Mom some much needed break.  I know I was a little concerned about just the two of us watching them at Taj's ball game on Friday but they were not too bad.

My husband did have to run after them a few times.

Cambria slept with me in our bed and my husband aired up our camping mattress where Deckard and he slept in our bedroom too.  Cambria was the first to wake up and she was absolutely adorable even if it was 6 AM.
Cambria:  "Good Morning!" with a smile and sweet voice.
Me: "Well good morning."
Cambria:  "Da boyeee.  Where da boyeee?"
Me: "Brother is sleeping on the mattress on the floor with Papa."
Cambria: "Ohhhh boyeee!" with such relief.
The twins just adore Taj and Deckard is typically Taj's shadow.  I love the bond the three have.

The two are definitely a handful, I mean they are two year old and what one does not think of the other does.  They fight over sharing like typical two year old but they also have a cute bond and are best friends.  I love listening to the talk they can only understand and when they get going they just laugh and laugh.

Deckard loves to wrestle with Taj and with Papa.  There were times when the boys were jealous of one another and competing for Papa's attention.

It is very difficult to do a selfie with two of them strapped to strollers.

We took a little adventure on Saturday with all three and went to Iowa City's Art Festival.  This is one of  the Summer festivals Todd (aka Papa)  and I enjoy.  We did not stay very long because Taj was in a little mood and he was done being around his cousins for so long.  He was needing a break.  Oh, how I remember the days when he was the two year old taunting his uncles, my youngest two.  My youngest was four years older than he is when Taj was born.  Oh how the tide can change and roll.  HA HA HA HA.   I feel it was a successful weekend even though Taj needed some time away from the twins.

We went to Taj's game last night and the twins were there with their parents.  I arrived a little later than Todd did.  Once Cambria saw me she came running and saying "Nana!  Nana!  Nana!" and jumping up and down with excitement and the largest smile.  She made my heart melt.  She has called out my name when her parent or aunt ask where's Nana.  She has for a while when talking to Todd call him Papa but this is the first time she called me Nana without being prompted.  I am definitely blessed with my grandchildren.

What has made you happy this past week?


Tuesday, June 4, 2019

Vacation 2017 Day Three ~ Little Stops Here and There

Our vacation as I stated prior we did not have something planned every day, mainly because there was so much and it was hard to pick.  One thing I picked out for us was to ride an incline railway up to Lookout Mountain. I am terrified of heights but I wanted to step out of my comfort zone and do something I know my husband would enjoy.  I also had hoped we could see Ruby Falls if we were able to fit it in.  We ended up making reservations in Chattanooga for two nights, this way we did not have to rush and miss out any side attractions. 

Once we were on the road we tried to go and see the Grand Ole Opry, we both have some found memories of our grandparents and Opry.  Unfortunately we were only able to do a drive by.  We could not drive to the building itself because of road construction and the Grand Ole Opry Resort's parking lot was way more then we wanted to spend just to take pictures of a building, although it is a beautiful building and has so much history we just could not do it.

We stopped in Gatlinburg for lunch and found a little museum we thought it would be fun.  We both grew up watching the Dukes of Hazard.  My Dad was a huge fan and loved Waylon Jennings so I was excited to see it for two reasons.

We made one more stop to Stone River National Battlefield.  Did you know this battle had the highest percentage of casualties of any battle in the war?  

This battlefield was a lot smaller than the first one we saw.  There were a few more cannons that I did not take a picture of.  I did like their museum better.  A lot of history shared within this museum.


Vacation 2017 Day Two ~ Shiloh National Military Park

Day two we left Graceland Inn and our only plan for the day was checking into our hotel in Nashville.

There were a few things on our vacation we both found we wanted to do but we left a lot of time to find something along the way.  My husband and I both love history and Todd has always been very interested with the Civil War and the World Wars.  He decided to take a little detour and we went to o Shiloh National Military Park.

Our first stop in there was a little museum, inside there were so many facts and a few artifacts.

The Battle of Shiloh took place in April 1862.  The battle lasted two days and the farmers, their families, the livestock, and fields suffered as well.  Many of the farms are gone today but the fields remain.  Outside there were a few monuments as well.

 There were several cannons.

 A monument made of cannon balls.

After the battle, the government buried the dead from both sides where they fell. In 1866 Congress made this the permanent burial for those who died during the Shiloh battle as well as those who died at other locations on the Lower Tennessee River.  565 bodies were recovered and reburied here.  In 1984 Congress established it as national park to preserve the history and the landscape.

After visiting the National Military Park we took just a little drive into Mississippi and then headed towards Nashville and checked into our hotel.  The hotel was nothing to write about, it was under renovation and we understood why it was such a great deal.   


Monday, June 3, 2019

2019 June's Goals


Typically, well while I was blogging at the beginning of the month I set goals and then recap what I did accomplish last month.  I never posted any goals on my blog so I will just recap what I did have goals and how I fared along with June's goals.

May Recap

Well May is always a busy time in our house, very close to Christmas anymore it seems.  My first two boys' birthdays are in May.  Matthew (May 10) and Joshua (May 14); sometimes I get to share Mother's Day with them.   We always make a Sunday dinner of the choice of the child we are honoring.  I was not able to do this with Joshua since he is living in Florida.  I was able to talk to him on the phone and was able to see him the last week in April when he was in Iowa for a wedding.  Matthew's celebration was small, the girls could not make it, one had to work the other had a wedding to go to out of town and would not be back in time.  It was the birthday guest, Matthew and then Todd, Ethan, and myself.  We played a game after dinner and it was enjoyable. 

Mother's Day was enjoyable, Emily and her family gave me flowers, Taj gave me flowers, Noah called me and spoke to me for close to an hour.  The nearly a year away has done wonders for our relationship.  We have been talking often and he is very much home sick and planning to move back home.  He needs to find another job and save money.   I hope he has grown and chosen to take an easier road now.  Joshua called me earlier in the day and we had a wonderful conversation as well.   Matthew and Ethan came over (Typically we have Sunday dinners with the kids and grandchildren.) and cooked dinner for me (well and Todd); the two brought all the ingredients and made shrimp stir fry and beef stir fry.  Matthew does not care for shrimp but they chose the shrimp dish because they know how much their Mama loves shrimp.  The boys did a wonderful job.  I was so impressed with the taste.  They made everything from scratch no packets for sauce mix.  They even plated the food and served me as well as cleaned up the Kitchen.  I felt very blessed and appreciated.

The twins have a birthday in May as well.  I helped with the party by the centerpieces and the cupcakes.  There was a gender reveal for their new sibling with their birthday cake.  Kameron, their Dad has a birthday three days after them.  I just love Kameron, he is so much like my boys and I consider him as one.  If you kept tabs that is five birthdays during the month of May. 

Work has been super crazy.  So many changes are going on, and I picked up another client.  It was supposed to be just while the other QA Analyst was on maternity leave but now it is mine for good. While doing my job I found a few people ethically not doing their job.  This made me very sad, I was unable to sleep a few nights and it made me very negative for about a week.  I was deeply sadden because they had to be let go.  I do not think I have ever felt down by the people I work with until that week.  The QA department has their own Manager now and my old Manager was let go the final week in May (not related to one another.) and there is a lot of reorganization of upper management right now.  I love my job and will keep doing what I am doing and know I will be fine.

I finished my physical therapy beginning of the month and near the end of the month I had a new pain while I moved on my right side, the Achilles Tendinitis.  I am being super conscientious on how I step to be on the mend and prevent it happening again.  All the rain has made my left knee act up so I am wobbling like a Webble Wobble when I walk due to both knees aching.

I also began to blog more again which is making me very happy.

June's Goals

  • Continue with blogging regularly. I am in hopes to get through Vacation 2017 and possible Vacation 2018.
  • Complete my laundry room/closet make over.
  • Clean out the small living room closet and linen closet.
  • Push harder to have Kera finish moving in and for her to get rid of all the boxes piled in my living room since April.
  • Plant flowers in my containers.
  • Finish weeding my flower beds.
  • Replant 3 of my herbs that did not take.
  • Work on a healthier life style to lose some weight.  Goal is 20 pounds this month.
  • Finish my little paintings for the twin's room.
  • Plan more of our vacation this Summer.
  • Keep getting closer to God.  (This should be first on my list.)
June will be busy but I have been motivated more and more to keep my word of the year "Committed".  

What goals do you have this month?


Saturday, June 1, 2019

[OFFICIAL VIDEO] Shallow - Pentatonix

I really do enjoy this group. I have a chance to see this Summer but haven't made the total commitment since it is right before our vacation. I hope you enjoy there newest cover as much as I do.